What it Means to Care for YOU
I’m sure you’ve had that conversation with friends or family about the “new diet you’re on” or the “new gym you’ve joined”… or maybe even the “new fitness powder” you’ve tried because everyone is just raving about it’s effectiveness.
But I hate to break it to you… this is not caring for yourself. When you are only using these “things” as trophies to show off to friends and family, you are not doing it for you. And when your goals are not rooted in improving you, the chances of them creating any long-term impact are slim. However, I want to extend some grace if this is you. In today’s society, it is incredibly easy to get sucked into all of these traps where we “must” improve the way our bodies looks because the media has told us that we will only be accepted if we look “perfect”. This results in this constant battle that we fight between our hearts and our bodies as we are pushed to try diet after diet, gym after gym, and fitness plan after fitness plan… leading to burnout and disappointment.
What if we normalized relaxation?! Taking a break is important and necessary for a balance wellbeing.
I’ll give you an example - say you just moved to a new town and you are trying to make new friends. You sign up at your local gym so you can start taking their cycling classes where you’re hopeful to find friends. However, after a couple of classes, you notice that all the “regulars” are also doing weekly juice cleanses and follow a vegan diet! From your perspective, it also looks like they are much happier and more comfortable in their skin. So what do you do? Well must be time to cut out all your meat and dairy, become vegan, and buy a juicer so you can be “just as happy as them”. After you do all that, maybe they will finally talk to you outside of the cycling class! About a month into this new lifestyle, you start to crave sweets and you’re still feeling disconnected to the “golden girls”. Better try harder! So you juice cleanse daily, eat more “clean”, and start cycling at least five times a week. Finally, they start to notice you… but only after you have completely altered your relationship with exercise and food. And you’re miserable. You’re grateful the the attention after all that hard work, but you miss so much of your former diet and your former love for exercise. What happened?
While the above example is not a real story, I’m sure many can relate to bits and pieces of it from their own experiences trying to “fit” in when they thought they were on the outside. But I’m telling you, playing this constant game for so long can be one of the most exhausting things to undertake. The worst part is that it’s not even rewarding! So what can you do in these situations? How can you take care of yourself without being sucked into the alluring messages we are constantly getting from the media to “eat clean” and “be thin”?
After many years of fighting this very same battle, I’ve put together a list of five tips to combat these feelings; we must prioritize ourselves over following the messaging to “change so we can fit in”.
Stay True to What Feels Good: What works for someone else may not work for you. It’s important to listen to your body and honor its authentic feelings, because one size does not fit all. This goes for exercise routines and diet. If you notice your best friend lifts every day but you just hate weight lifting, don’t worry! Find joy in something else. Your other friend might be thriving on her gluten free diet… but this in no way means that you have to give up gluten!
Seek Out Peers Who Lift You Up: What about all of your “friends” in your cycle class who will only talk to you if you also start a juice cleanse? Well honey, it’s time to let those “friends” go. I promise there are so many more people out there who want to be your true friend for all of your wonderful qualities… not for what you eat!!
Don’t Consider it a Dead End - Consider it a Pivot: So you’re starting to feel burnout on your current workout routine and lifestyle. Instead of viewing this difficult point as a failure, consider it a pivot. You are actively listening to your body and making the conscious decision to switch things up! Also, consider tuning out what the media has to say about this… you are not at rockbottom! You are merely starting a new journey. :)
Indulge: This is a tricky one. There are so many different messages about “eating clean” and “getting fit quick” but you must listen to what your body is telling you. Indulge in a chocolate cake if you want! Skip that workout if you’re body is still sore from yesterday! Relaxing with your feet up on the couch does not make you lazy or worthless; it makes you brave for listening to and following what your body needed! Caring for yourself with an extra hour of rest or that chocolate chip cookie is just as important (if not more) than the gym workouts and the green salads!
Be Unapologetically You: So you decided to cut out the toxic cycling “friends”… now what?! Be unapologetically you! Don’t worry about what so-and-so is going to say about your new interests! The first step to breaking out of your old molds is to be daring and try something completely new! Maybe you’ll like it or maybe you’ll absolutely hate it… but you never know until you try!
I hope some of these tips and tricks work for you as you start to find your own, unique voice on your fitness and nutrition journey. Again, nothing can be more exhausting than constantly fighting battle to ignore what you need while trying to fit in with the “in” crowd. Because the truth is, everyone in the “in” crowd is just as nervous and self-conscious as you! And until we break down these barriers and rewrite the script of what health “should” look like, it just takes one step at a time and one person at a time making the intentional decisions to change their lives for the better!